Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Poor Me Syndrome

We've all dealt with the feeling that "I am the only one going through this" and "it really sucks to be me now", and other self-defeating self talk. Hey, we're all human and it goes along with the territory sometimes, but it still gets in the way. Pushing it aside is as difficult sometimes as denying a temptation, but the knowledge that it is best helps.
No, I'm not there yet. Sure, dieting and exercising sucks when it is not a regular part of a routine, and I would rather not need to go through this. But I am not at the point yet where I feel owed something for the suffering. That's just ridiculous anyway, and I know it.
In fact, I've lived it before, many times. I've tried (and succeeded in a variety of ways) losing weight before. It usually includes some more self-defeating self talk including a general disdain for myself for putting myself in the situation where I would need to do this in the first place! But that doesn't help either.
The reason for laying all this out there, this early in the game, is to state for all to see that I am aware of it, and if I start to fall into that pitiful trap I may need you to pull me out by calling it as you see it.
And, above all else, I know I am not alone. I have friends that I will not name here since this is a public blog, who are also going through changes they would maybe not have chosen to go through, given a choice. The outcome goal is better than the current situation, but the current situation is the reality they are experiencing now, which makes it hard to "keep your eyes on the prize" as they say (whoever "they" are). My friends are also losing weight, getting divorced, moving, quitting smoking, quitting drinking, and other changes that suck to go through. But in the end, they will be thinner, healthier, and in a better position to take on whatever comes their way.
Me too!

1 comment:

  1. Pain creates change, my friend. To that end the change is less painful than the previous situation. I have found that acceptance of the change can be difficult and in doing so I find the reasons to start back with the bad behaviors of yore. They become important to address and identify.

    The idea that "Just this one piece of cake won't matter," takes on a whole different meaning when it has become part of your program to avoid such things. I have one friend who has sugar as her drug of choice and lives a 12 step program to avoid such things.

    The saying "Just for today," does not just apply to alcoholics who are struggling but for anyone who feels like they might be struggling with something.

    With that said, I would not expect you to give your life and your will over to your higher power in order to avoid a piece of cake. However, if you higher power is your dog then she can eat the cake instead of you and by doing so you have thus given your will (and cake) over to your higher power.

    Where am I going with this? I'm not sure... Of the 5 things that you listed as the changes that suck, I am going through 4 of them. I am pretty sure that I would explode if I tried to wrestle them down and fight them myself. But I don't. I take each issue as I can handle them. Then I string them along and look back to see how I am doing. If changes need to be made, and I can do them, I make them happen. If I can't make them happen then I keep walking.

    Do the next right thing.