Week 4: 183 pounds

I seem to be going the wrong way. I could have lied and said it stayed the same or something, but that's not what's happening. I gained 2 pounds. Ok, I need to get serious.

Or at least, more serious.

This past weekend, specifically Sunday night, was laden with rich foods, many beers, and loud screaming as a houseful of people watched the Vikings end their run. I wasn't exactly shy about bellying up to the buffet either. But now, those Sunday yell-and-eat fests are over. Whew!

My other nemesis: the couch. I have become one with the couch for far too many hours, far too often. Having no money to go anywhere makes the couch an obvious choice, but I have other choices. I have a multi-station, a situp bench, and a treadmill, for Christ's sake!

Oh, and there is the closet. Every morning, I push hangers around looking for the shirts that still fit, or feel comfortable to wear. I own several shirts, but I wear few of them. And I am down to a couple pairs of pants I wear. Oh sure, there are several pairs hanging there as well, but they don't fit yet. Yet!

So, despite Fred's dislike for my toes, I'm going to post a scale pic at every 5 pound interval. I'm eager to get to one, if only to bother him. That's motivation!

Week 3: 181 pounds

Damn those Vikings! Last Sunday's game included a huge spread of Famous Dave's BBQ including just about everything they serve! Sure, I ate. But not as much as I would have in the past. More than a dieter should, but not as much as in the past. And there was beer. My waistline's old nemesis.
So I had gotten on the scale on Saturday, just because I was feeling particularly good about myself for some reason, and it said 180 pounds. I almost grabbed the camera for proof, but apparently Fred doesn't like my toes, so I decided to forgo the picture.
This morning (Monday), I was up a pound from that, and I am not really surprised I guess. So I'll kick my own butt around for a week, hope for the best, and try to make better choices for next Sunday's game.

Didn't upload...

Here is the next picture that for some reason, didn't make it. Note the decreasing numbers!!

Accountability!

To add a layer of accountability, I will attach a picture of myself on the scale each week. This is not what I want to do, but I need to. You see, lately I have been hanging out on the couch, thinking of all the exercise I could be doing. My motivation is lacking, and I don't know why. So, Boo hoo hoo for me, I gotta just do it, I know. And I figure posting a picture of my chubby little toes on the scale will add the embarrassment I might need in the future, to keep going.

Week 2: 183 pounds

Not a monumental loss, but a loss! And, I am additionally happy that it is a loss and not a gain, given my weekend! Too much football watching with the boys just happens to include too much beer and Gina Maria's pizza. Add to that, the fact that I only worked out once all week and I am truly happy!
Oh, and I do get a bit of exercise every Saturday morning when I go to dance class. Yes, yes I do. I am doing (for the sixth year now!) the "daddy-daughter" dance with my daughter at her dance studio. It is an absolute hoot! A room full of middle-aged, mostly white, mostly out-of-shape men, trying to move in sync. Hilarious! We do more laughing than dancing, which I am told is good for the abs. This year is a hip hop number, complete with MC Hammer moves and everything. Gotta find my parachute pants...
And, one additional bit of "good" to report this week, I am able to tighten my belt one hole! And I don't have to exhale deeply before doing so. I think that's progress...

Poor Me Syndrome

We've all dealt with the feeling that "I am the only one going through this" and "it really sucks to be me now", and other self-defeating self talk. Hey, we're all human and it goes along with the territory sometimes, but it still gets in the way. Pushing it aside is as difficult sometimes as denying a temptation, but the knowledge that it is best helps.
No, I'm not there yet. Sure, dieting and exercising sucks when it is not a regular part of a routine, and I would rather not need to go through this. But I am not at the point yet where I feel owed something for the suffering. That's just ridiculous anyway, and I know it.
In fact, I've lived it before, many times. I've tried (and succeeded in a variety of ways) losing weight before. It usually includes some more self-defeating self talk including a general disdain for myself for putting myself in the situation where I would need to do this in the first place! But that doesn't help either.
The reason for laying all this out there, this early in the game, is to state for all to see that I am aware of it, and if I start to fall into that pitiful trap I may need you to pull me out by calling it as you see it.
And, above all else, I know I am not alone. I have friends that I will not name here since this is a public blog, who are also going through changes they would maybe not have chosen to go through, given a choice. The outcome goal is better than the current situation, but the current situation is the reality they are experiencing now, which makes it hard to "keep your eyes on the prize" as they say (whoever "they" are). My friends are also losing weight, getting divorced, moving, quitting smoking, quitting drinking, and other changes that suck to go through. But in the end, they will be thinner, healthier, and in a better position to take on whatever comes their way.
Me too!

The beginning is always encouraging...

Today, just for fun, I got on the scale and was down 2 pounds. Wait a minute- let me explain. I don't mean getting on the scale is fun, I just did it because it was there. I also sort of expected to punish myself because I had a piece of cake at an event last night, after being so "good" all day. Ok, ok, I know one piece of cake won't make a huge difference in the big picture, but I did it, I admit it, and there it is. Could I have been down more if I hadn't had the cake? I dunno. There's my punishment.
Oh, and I'm not a calorie counter. I look at the numbers (fat, calories, sodium, etc...) and round up before deciding whether or not to eat whatever it is that has the label I am reading, but I am not one of those who charts every number. Some advise that dieters do this, others don't, I don't care.
Everyone has advice, no one is right. There are so many diet plans out there...

Week 1: 185 pounds

I'm going to make entries with my current weight in the title. No sense burying it in the body of the text. It is what it is, and it is going to change!!

Starting with a new year!

It's so cliche to enter into a weight loss promise with the turn of the year, but here I am, doing just that. I've done this before, in fact too many times to mention. But this time is different, I tell myself.
But it is different in a way. This is the first time I have gone this public with it. It's like all the times I quit smoking, by resolving to myself to do so. When I went back to it, no one really knew I had tried and failed, so no real harm was done in my eyes. Once I started telling people I had quit, I had to stick to it or face the wrath of their scorn. It worked, to have the peer pressure working in my favor.
So it goes with my latest weight loss endeavor. I am currently 185 pounds, and not at all happy about it. Normally, that wouldn't be too bad for a 43 year old man, but I am only 5'5", so every extra pound really shows. Short is what I am, and I can't change that. Short and fat is something I don't want to be, and I can at least work on the fat part. Oh, and in a cruel twist of fate, I am also bald. Thanks, Higher Power; short, fat, and bald. Hilarious.
A bit of history would also be good to insert here: I have always struggled with weight, all through childhood. I was never athletic, and didn't want to be. We didn't have the sedentary-inducing distractions kids have today like video games, computers, etc... so we played outside. We were active all the time. I would ride my bike a mile to my friend's house just to see if he wanted to ride bikes, and then we would cover countless miles before returning home. I shudder to think of what a tub of lard I would have been if I were as inactive as many kids today are.
Shortly after getting married 23 years ago, I shot up to 200 pounds. That was at Christmastime, and I had had enough of all the Santa jokes (I had a bushy beard then too). By that following summer I was down to 150. I never felt so good! I did it by eating a bowl of cereal in the morning, brown-bagging a sandwich and chips for lunch, stopping by the YMCA for an hour or so on my way home from work every day, and then eating a Weight Watcher's microwave meal for dinner. If there was to be an evening snack, it was lite microwave popcorn. My wife and I walked around Lake Calhoun often too (3 miles), and sometimes treated ourselves to TCBY. Remember them?
Arriving at 150 was the best. I had done it. Case closed. No need to diet anymore. Bring on the pizza and beer. You know what happened next. I did the classic yo-yo routine, each time gaining 10 pounds for every 5 I would lose. I started to convince myself that this is the way it is, and I should just give up the struggle.
At my heaviest, I was 215. Picture it folks, 5'5" and 215. Eww. Disgusted with myself, I joined a gym, and worked my ass (literally) off. I got down to 160 and was thrilled! That was almost 2 years ago, but the economy forced me to let the gym membership go and along with it, my motivation to shave off those last 10 pounds. Ok, realistically 160 isn't bad for a guy like me, but I was really on a roll and felt great.
Now, 185. Dammit! 25 pounds added just like that. And it's not like I have been feasting on crap food all the time. I just like snacking, and sitting.

Hmmm, active and eating right vs. snacking and sitting.

So I plan to, no I pledge to make weekly entries here, posting my current weight. I don't know who will read this or the comments that will be made, but I'm throwing it all out there to see what happens. This should motivate me to continue and see it through.