Week 4: 183 pounds

I seem to be going the wrong way. I could have lied and said it stayed the same or something, but that's not what's happening. I gained 2 pounds. Ok, I need to get serious.

Or at least, more serious.

This past weekend, specifically Sunday night, was laden with rich foods, many beers, and loud screaming as a houseful of people watched the Vikings end their run. I wasn't exactly shy about bellying up to the buffet either. But now, those Sunday yell-and-eat fests are over. Whew!

My other nemesis: the couch. I have become one with the couch for far too many hours, far too often. Having no money to go anywhere makes the couch an obvious choice, but I have other choices. I have a multi-station, a situp bench, and a treadmill, for Christ's sake!

Oh, and there is the closet. Every morning, I push hangers around looking for the shirts that still fit, or feel comfortable to wear. I own several shirts, but I wear few of them. And I am down to a couple pairs of pants I wear. Oh sure, there are several pairs hanging there as well, but they don't fit yet. Yet!

So, despite Fred's dislike for my toes, I'm going to post a scale pic at every 5 pound interval. I'm eager to get to one, if only to bother him. That's motivation!

Week 3: 181 pounds

Damn those Vikings! Last Sunday's game included a huge spread of Famous Dave's BBQ including just about everything they serve! Sure, I ate. But not as much as I would have in the past. More than a dieter should, but not as much as in the past. And there was beer. My waistline's old nemesis.
So I had gotten on the scale on Saturday, just because I was feeling particularly good about myself for some reason, and it said 180 pounds. I almost grabbed the camera for proof, but apparently Fred doesn't like my toes, so I decided to forgo the picture.
This morning (Monday), I was up a pound from that, and I am not really surprised I guess. So I'll kick my own butt around for a week, hope for the best, and try to make better choices for next Sunday's game.

Didn't upload...

Here is the next picture that for some reason, didn't make it. Note the decreasing numbers!!

Accountability!

To add a layer of accountability, I will attach a picture of myself on the scale each week. This is not what I want to do, but I need to. You see, lately I have been hanging out on the couch, thinking of all the exercise I could be doing. My motivation is lacking, and I don't know why. So, Boo hoo hoo for me, I gotta just do it, I know. And I figure posting a picture of my chubby little toes on the scale will add the embarrassment I might need in the future, to keep going.

Week 2: 183 pounds

Not a monumental loss, but a loss! And, I am additionally happy that it is a loss and not a gain, given my weekend! Too much football watching with the boys just happens to include too much beer and Gina Maria's pizza. Add to that, the fact that I only worked out once all week and I am truly happy!
Oh, and I do get a bit of exercise every Saturday morning when I go to dance class. Yes, yes I do. I am doing (for the sixth year now!) the "daddy-daughter" dance with my daughter at her dance studio. It is an absolute hoot! A room full of middle-aged, mostly white, mostly out-of-shape men, trying to move in sync. Hilarious! We do more laughing than dancing, which I am told is good for the abs. This year is a hip hop number, complete with MC Hammer moves and everything. Gotta find my parachute pants...
And, one additional bit of "good" to report this week, I am able to tighten my belt one hole! And I don't have to exhale deeply before doing so. I think that's progress...

Poor Me Syndrome

We've all dealt with the feeling that "I am the only one going through this" and "it really sucks to be me now", and other self-defeating self talk. Hey, we're all human and it goes along with the territory sometimes, but it still gets in the way. Pushing it aside is as difficult sometimes as denying a temptation, but the knowledge that it is best helps.
No, I'm not there yet. Sure, dieting and exercising sucks when it is not a regular part of a routine, and I would rather not need to go through this. But I am not at the point yet where I feel owed something for the suffering. That's just ridiculous anyway, and I know it.
In fact, I've lived it before, many times. I've tried (and succeeded in a variety of ways) losing weight before. It usually includes some more self-defeating self talk including a general disdain for myself for putting myself in the situation where I would need to do this in the first place! But that doesn't help either.
The reason for laying all this out there, this early in the game, is to state for all to see that I am aware of it, and if I start to fall into that pitiful trap I may need you to pull me out by calling it as you see it.
And, above all else, I know I am not alone. I have friends that I will not name here since this is a public blog, who are also going through changes they would maybe not have chosen to go through, given a choice. The outcome goal is better than the current situation, but the current situation is the reality they are experiencing now, which makes it hard to "keep your eyes on the prize" as they say (whoever "they" are). My friends are also losing weight, getting divorced, moving, quitting smoking, quitting drinking, and other changes that suck to go through. But in the end, they will be thinner, healthier, and in a better position to take on whatever comes their way.
Me too!

The beginning is always encouraging...

Today, just for fun, I got on the scale and was down 2 pounds. Wait a minute- let me explain. I don't mean getting on the scale is fun, I just did it because it was there. I also sort of expected to punish myself because I had a piece of cake at an event last night, after being so "good" all day. Ok, ok, I know one piece of cake won't make a huge difference in the big picture, but I did it, I admit it, and there it is. Could I have been down more if I hadn't had the cake? I dunno. There's my punishment.
Oh, and I'm not a calorie counter. I look at the numbers (fat, calories, sodium, etc...) and round up before deciding whether or not to eat whatever it is that has the label I am reading, but I am not one of those who charts every number. Some advise that dieters do this, others don't, I don't care.
Everyone has advice, no one is right. There are so many diet plans out there...